Department of Offense

As we mark President Obama’s 100th day in office, Republicans, Independents and even Democrats are realizing that the President Obama’s promise of “Change” is really an assault on capitalism, free enterprise and fiscal responsibility. By contributing $100, $75, $50, or even $25, you can help put a stop to President Obama and the Congressional Democrats increased taxes and reckless spending.
 
In the last 100 Days, the Florida GOP has received numerous calls and emails from voters who have recently joined the Republican Party because they feel President Obama has not delivered the same change he promised. Floridians like Steven from Pensacola, a registered Democrat who voted for President Obama. He is now a registered Republican and is working to join the Escambia Republican Executive Committee and start a Young Republicans Club.
 
Eugene from Port St. Lucie always voted for the person, not the party. A Democrat for the last ten years, Eugene emailed the RPOF recently to proudly proclaim that he has joined our ranks in support of less taxing, less spending, and less government. Eugene and so many others are taking a stand against President Obama and Nancy Pelosi’s Congressional Democrats ideas for how to “fix” the economy that have led to the most reckless spending and borrowing policies America has ever seen.
 
Even one of President Obama’s most enthusiastic supporters, Edith Childs, the city councilwoman from Greenwood, South Carolina and  originator of the “Fired Up, and Ready to Go” chant President Obama made famous on the campaign trail, recently told the Washington Post that she has gone from “fired up” to “tired out.” President Obama’s supporters might be “tired out,” from defending his 3.6 trillion budget that would add $5.7 trillion in new government debt,  an amount equal to $48,000 per family, but Republicans are still “fired up,” hitting the streets by the hundreds of thousands last week  to protest the “change” President Obama is bringing to America.
 
Here at the Republican Party of Florida we are “fired up” too, and we need your help to elect Republicans that will reign in President Obama and Nancy Pelosi’s Congressional Democrats. Your contribution of $100, $75, $50, or even $25 can help the RPOF stay the course in our fight to preserve family values and maintain an economic structure that allows families and businesses to flourish.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let’s just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.)

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s, and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.  We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.  But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.  You can give everyone health care, if you can find any practicing doctors.  We’ll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum By Ya, or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you we’ll keep our history, our name, and our flag. 

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall.

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda

Kultursmog: the cloud of “liberal misconceptions and bugaboos” that “pollutes the liberals’ minds and renders them oblivious of any evidence contrary to their gloomy views”

I was talking to a friend of mine’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.  Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”

“Wow – what a worthy goal,” I told her.  “You don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that.  You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50.  Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds ’cause she’s only 6.  And while her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

And I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her folks still aren’t talking to me.