Department of Offense

Who wants to get rid of Net Neutrality?
The nation’s largest telephone and cable companies — including AT&T, Verizon, Comcast and Time Warner Cable — want to be Internet gatekeepers, deciding which Web sites go fast or slow and which won’t load at all.

They want to tax content providers to guarantee speedy delivery of their data. And they want to discriminate in favor of their own search engines, Internet phone services and streaming video — while slowing down or blocking services offered by their competitors.

These companies have a new vision for the Internet. Instead of a level playing field, they want to reserve express lanes for their own content and services — or those of big corporations that can afford the steep tolls — and leave the rest of us on a winding dirt road.

The big phone and cable companies are spending hundreds of millions of dollars lobbying Congress and the Federal Communications Commission to gut Net Neutrality, putting the future of the Internet at risk.

It’s utterly amazing how otherwise clear-thinking adults got lobotomized by Obama’s Machine. We can never forget that during the campaign (and even to this day), B.H.O.’s supporters treated the dude as though he were presented to America by the Angel Gabriel.

So, in the spirit of bipartisanship, I present to you some awesomely awesome examples of grown adults wetting themselves over a… politician.

• After the election, one Florida female college student told MTV, “It’s probably the most excited I’ve ever been in my entire life. I seriously think I had an emotional seizure or something. My whole body seized up. I couldn’t breathe. It’s like I really mattered. … I picked the president!”

• Kimberley, an Obama volunteer in New Hampshire, praised Barack’s sappy message as follows: “Hope is an idea, it’s a feeling, a belief, a revolution, a role, a possibility.”

• A student from Garden City, N.Y., at an Obama rally said this of Barack: “The way he makes you feel, it’s like when you’re going to pick up a girl for a date.”

You do agree with me that a politician shouldn’t make you feel like you’re on a hot date, right?

I wonder how the above geniuses feel about B.H.O. now? Double-digit unemployment, a prolonged recession, and national security lapses! He’s not so much of a Messiah, huh?

What are your favorite O-basm quotes?

Jason Mattera [jason.mattera@gmail.com]
1474 North Point Village Center, Reston, Virginia 20194-1190, Box 313

The Balloonist

Obama was travelling in a hot air balloon and realized he was lost. He lowered his altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. He shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.”

Not recognizing the President, the man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

“Obama rolled his eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the ballooning Obama, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be Democrat.”

“I am,” replied Obama. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but someh

via The Balloonist.

What is Net Neutrality?

Net Neutrality is the guiding principle that preserves the free and open Internet.

Net Neutrality means that Internet service providers may not discriminate between different kinds of content and applications online. It guarantees a level playing field for all Web sites and Internet technologies.

Net Neutrality is the reason the Internet has driven economic innovation, democratic participation and free speech online. It protects the consumer's right to use any equipment, content, application or service without interference from the network provider. With Net Neutrality, the network's only job is to move data — not to choose which data to privilege with higher quality service.

via Frequently Asked Questions | Save the Internet.